


Communion

by perpetualguilt



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Not Much Plot Really, i just have so many feelings about the raven queen ok, somewhat of a study on god/champion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 07:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetualguilt/pseuds/perpetualguilt
Summary: during one of vax's visits, the raven queen broaches the matter of faith





	Communion

Vax isn’t one for excessive piety and ceremony; he does not often bend the knees in the presence of his deity, does not try for eloquence or reverence in his prayers. His effort in faith presents itself other ways. She understands and accepts this. Still, when he comes to Her, his trepidation cleaves a chasm between them. It is the unfortunate yet necessary nature of gods to be so distant from their charges, and in the tending of fate, to reveal frustratingly little until the proper moment arrives. The Raven Queen can sense his growing fear. Of Her. Of being directionless and uninformed. Of a great many things. It’s been a long time since She has struggled with Her champion like this. But so too has it been a long time since She _had_ a champion.

This time, he comes for advice. His voice falters again and again as he hears himself in the chamber’s reverberation, his volume wavering with the emotions that cloud his logic. This is one of Vax’s most endearing features- but it is also his morass. It sorrows Her to feel this in him. He continues to push Her away whether he realizes it or not. 

She finds Herself reaching after him.

Her immense face looms before him in the deep shadows of Her realm. He doesn’t seem to be satisfied with what few words She could impart, but has resigned himself to the harsh reality of his situation and expects to be awaking from communion any second now. Instead, She clings a little while longer, and draws closer to him. After a few seconds of nothing happening, he glances down at his body.

“So, um...” 

_**There is one more thing I feel we must address before you leave me today, Vax’ildan.** _

She listens to his audible surprise, though he says nothing. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. He is never not apprehensive about his role within Her dominion. Slowly, Her mask of a face approaches him, its size distorting through spatial flexibility to appear smaller and smaller every time he blinks, until the two are level with one another and mere feet apart.

_**With each passing day you prove yourself a very capable champion. I do not doubt the faith that you place in me. However.** _

Vax fights the instinctual urge to take a step back as the face drifts even closer. She’s toying with the idea of entering his personal space, though for now she stops where she is.

_**I sense you doubt the faith I have in you.** _

“...The faith you have... in me?”

_**Indeed. You are my worldly vessel: you carry my will with you in the prime material plane. I’ve entrusted myself to you, just as you’ve entrusted yourself to me.** _

“That’s- Our situations are a bit- different, don’t you think? You’re... a _god_. You could have chosen anyone. You could’ve taken my sister instead! The only reason I’m standing here right now is because of- things that were out of my control.”

_**Need I remind you that the threads of fate are not mine to control, either? I merely watch over them, and guide them through to their proper end.** _

Scoffing slightly, he looks to be otherwise at a loss for words. There’s that seed of doubt again, sprouting thorns around the potential in his heart. Unyielding, She resumes pushing forward.

_**If words alone are not enough, then allow me to show you my... investment in you.** _

Smooth, ivory fingers appear suddenly from the darkness to linger on his cheek; Vax’s breath hitches, at both the gentleness of the action and how cold it leaves the skin. The fact that Her emotionless visage is just inches away from him doesn’t help.

“What are you going to do?” he murmurs, his voice thin enough to snap in the tension he has put between them. So many obstacles She must surpass just to claim Her champion. Ah, but it will be worth the effort. She finally banishes the distance, the thorns, the tension, requesting that it instead be filled with Her. And as his unsure lips meet Her painted ones, Her mask diffuses into an icy mist at the point of contact.

Vax’s nose and lungs sting terribly upon breathing it in. Breathing Her in. It takes all his constraint not to cough in the Raven Queen’s face - a face he cannot even bring himself to look at while the chill nips at the corners of his tightly shut eyes - but he manages, fueled by the shock of Her mouth moving under his. A soft, fleshy, _real_ mouth, while not so warm in terms of temperature, certainly warming a deep, unknown part of him with Her intention. Her fingers slip away from his face, but in the next moment he is embraced bodily by both of Her now much larger hands encompassing the whole of his torso from behind.

At long last, She pulls back somewhat; his chest heaves desperately for air he does not even need in this place, Her realm. He’s afraid to look at Her but he forces his eyes open anyway, and something within is strangely almost disappointed when he sees the ethereal, impersonal mask observing him once again. But he’s not given long to dwell on why that could be, because next he becomes acutely aware of Her fingers tightening around him. She rests Her forehead on his and, exercising absolute grace and care, begins to push him back. Not down, but backwards, coaxing him along at an odd gait, _back, back, back._ He stumbles but She doesn’t allow him to fall, the surrounding shadows billowing up to catch him. Eventually his feet can no longer match Her pace and end up dragging uselessly, but She just scoops him up into the... air? Higher and higher above whatever constitutes the ground here.

In the grip of his deity, surrounded by Her presence pressing in on him, Vax can’t suppress his shivering and panting. His lungs burn as his skin freezes, not that he minds either sensation when somewhere in the middle, nestled in his ribcage, lies warmth in the form of comfort and surety and _peace_ that he’s sure is not his own. It’s Her gift to him, Her reassurance. He stares into Her unmoving, unreadable expression as he tenses with every cold lick of the darkness. It’s clinging to him as though there’s a weight to it, and languidly dragging various bits and pieces of his armor into the nothingness until he’s utterly stripped, naked as the day he was born. His hands reach out to try and grab at the void, pull it towards him in vain, searching for anything at all to help stabilize him. Courteously, mercifully, She grants him a more solid form of Hers to hold.

_**This power you feel is your prize, and burden, as my agent. It has been yours since the moment we struck our agreement. I would not entrust such a part of me to just anyone. Do you understand?** _

Her sourceless voice further vibrates in his already trembling bones. 

“Yeah.” He nods slightly and clears his throat, but that doesn’t really cure how hoarse he sounds. “Yes.”

_**Good, my champion. My loyal Vax’ildan.** _

As Vax buries his face in Her pale clavicle and the darkness peels away from them, every inch of him is raw, laid bare, Her essence thrumming in his veins. Massive fingers caress him anywhere they can reach- which is everywhere. Her endless silky black hair tickles his ear and neck whenever he shifts, occasionally causing him to twitch against Her or huff out a faint, airy laugh. He has no way to discern the length of time they spend clutching each other. Needing each other. Breathing faith into skin. He doesn’t want to let go of Her, and doesn’t want to admit it either. But She already knows. That’s the shitty thing about gods, is that they usually already know. So She spares him the responsibility by being the one to pull away.

_**Go now, champion, and fulfill your duty to me with the knowledge that I am with you always.** _

She brushes Her long fingers over where Vax’s heart is. 

_**Watching, and within.** _

The Raven Queen moves to press their foreheads together again, but Vax succeeds in genuinely surprising Her by dipping in for another kiss, planting one without reserve directly onto Her rigid porcelain features. She isn’t one to laugh as such, but a fond amusement does stir in Her core.

_**I shall await your return.** _

And with that, Vax emerges from the communion pool gasping and embarrassingly half-hard despite being absolutely drenched in blood.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading
> 
> i wrote this in 7 hours after daydreaming about it at church, no editing, we die like sleep deprived idiots. sorry if this too closely resembles any of the other 17 vax/RQ fics on here but i was craving that sweet content. i hope my humble contribution appeals to you!
> 
> tumblr blog: thisisasupergoodidea.tumblr.com


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